It’s time to build a little character for Dallas Mavericks fans.
The Dallas Mavericks (20-13) are what they are at this point. It’s better not to get too excited (or the opposite) about the spare parts currently at the team’s disposal. The Mavs lost to the Sacramento Kings (14-19) at the Golden 1 Center on Monday, 110-100.
Here’s how your favorite Mavs graded out in a game that was a cosmic spec in the overall truth of the NBA season. Nothing that happened on Monday meant anything, as the inversely exponential turtles spiraled down into the belly of the universe. Just google “turtles all the way down” — the philosophical concept may provide some comfort in the context of tonight’s Mavs game.
P.J. Washington: A
28 Points / 4 Rebounds / 1 Assist / 2 Blocks / 2 Turnovers (38 Minutes)
Washington was incredible in the first half. No other player on the court had a bigger handprint on the action in the first two quarters. And it was nice that he also remembered that the game consisted of a second half. No one else on the team seemed to remember that.
Daniel Gafford: C+
8 Points / 6 Rebounds / 1 Steal / 5 Blocks / 2 Turnover (28 Minutes)
Daniel Gafford has always been a slightly outdated but still operational Howitzer on the second line you could point in any direction and expect neutral-to-positive results. On a couple of occasions, he has even been a hero. Five blocks? Kind of ridiculous. But let’s talk about defensive rebounding (6, as the de facto No. 1 center). He’s not good at it. Never has been. Don’t like it. Do you?
Spencer Dinwiddie: B-
30 Points / 3 Rebounds / 6 Assists / 1 Steal / (23 Minutes)
Spencer Dinwiddie is Harvey Dent in terms of his dual potential for heroics and the absolute basement of basketball. Goodness gracious. Dinwiddie was good until he wasn’t, and to quiet the goons, ill just give him a B-minus. The 30 points was his Two-Face mask, if we’re continuing the Batman metaphor.
Quentin Grimes: B-
11 Points / 7 Rebounds / 3 Assist / 1 Block / 4 Turnovers (33 Minutes)
Honestly, I’ve got nothing. Too busy railing on all the other failure across the roster. You tell me how Grimes did tonight. The comments are down below. Have at it.
Maxi Kleber: D
0 Points / 4 Rebounds 1 Block / (30 Minutes)
One time in the fourth quarter when I heard, “Kleber is open for three,” from Mavs play-by-play minion Mark Followill, I happened to look up, watched it brick super, super hard, then laughed a great belly laugh. The end result of this game was the punchline.
Dwight Powell: C-
0 Points / 5 Rebounds / 2 Assists / 2 Steals / 2 Block (17 Minutes)
Dwight Powell did not reach any mathematical, quantifiable benchmarks — not within the context of this horrifying loss. Not any that anyone wants to talk or read about, anyway. Take your C-minus, Dwight, and live to fight another day.
Jazian Gortman: C
5 Points / 2 Rebounds / 1 Assists / 2 Steals / 1 Block (9 Minutes)
Hey. You know. What can you say about Jazian Gortman, except, I don’t know. Good enough for a C. Can we leave now?
Jaden Hardy: C-
8 Points / 3 Rebounds / 2 Blocks (21 Minutes)
The meme from the Madmen show where Don Draper is in the elevator and tells whoever the hell that guy is, “I don’t think about you at all,” yea that hits here. Hardy hit 2-of-3 on 3-point attempts, but that is officially the last stat I’ll try and type on this godforsaken keyboard this night.
I hope you all have a great and fortunate and incredible 2025. It’s going to take a ton of hard work to make it happen. Get ready to dig deep, but don’t hold your breath.